Random Thoughts: I have 'em and I share 'em!
I'm immature therefore I'm fun. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the silliness of outrageous antics, or to take up seriousness against a sea of kooky jams and, by opposing, end them...nah, silliness RULES!
Never underestimate the speed of a one-legged-painter-man.
Here is my new hobby: thinking up new hobbies.
I've finally decided on a hobby: forgoing hobbies in general.
My friends, I'm here for you......you see, you're way over there and I'm too lazy to get up.
WordMonkey says my name in Japanese is ジェニファー. I have no idea how to say this so I'll assume it is pronounced "Millicent".
I've fallen down the rabbit hole and can't get up! Quick! Where's my reality alert button?!
I believe my computer monitor has developed Narcolepsy. Note to self: check genetic predisposition to neurological diseases before purchasing new electronics.
I'm convinced that Cadbury speckled eggs are laced with crack.
Contrary to popular belief, sock monkeys are not opposed to wearing sandals.
I'm doing a triple salchow followed by a toeless lutz...in my mind...
I'm convinced Apollo Ohno has stolen U-dog's secret energy pill...
Contrary to popular belief, Aristotle threw a mean partaaaaaaay back in the day....
I'm convinced that lemons are the new limes this year.
Never drink too many Hurricanes or you will get MardiGrasinauseated, for sure.
Insulterated is not a word? I'm so embarrassanated!
Today I am lethargic AND restless AT THE SAME TIME! How is that even possible?!
Here is my plan: I have no plan.
I'm fashioning a lovely sweater out of dryer lint and saran wrap!
If I were a pair of socks, I would come unraveled at the thought of getting lost in the dryer.
I'm all about gluten.
If I was a foundation garment, I would slack off when no one was looking.
I'm convinced my dog was an archeologist in a previous life.
If I were a resident in a nursing home, I'm pretty sure I'd be put on their list of "subversives".
I'm so happy to hear from Yin (a KPN member) that the reading of my Metro poem series does NOT cause the development of "man boobs"...but I plan to crochet him a manziere just in case.
If I was a zombie I would hunt my victims outside of a Starbucks so that they would be coffee flavored.
If I was The Good Witch, I would be a little bit bad sometimes and then make you promise not to tell.
If I was Dorothy, I would click my heels together 3 times and say "There's no place like Barbados"
If I was The Scarecrow, I would weave bits of me into a tasteful wall hanging or possibly 4 place mats.
I would exercise more if when running I made techno sounds like the million dollar man.
If I was a ringmaster in a circus, I would give everyone misdirected cues simply to cause mayhem.
If I was a clown in a circus, I would consider that a step up from where I am now.
If I was that lady in the circus that twirls around with scarves and mysteriously quick changes into sparkly outfits, I would end up with my underwear on upside down and backwards.
If I was a brussels sprout I would be filled with self-loathing.
If I was Peggy from Madmen, I would get a new hairstyle, quit the uppity roommate, kill the weasel whose name I can't remember, and go after Don.
If I was Weasel from Madmen, first of all I would remember my name but secondly I would be really upset because I can't stand that guy!
If I was a retrovirus, I would glom onto your genome faster than you can say Darwin.
If I was a lemming, I would be a nonconformist.
If I was an Orange Julius I would be ticked off because, dang it, my color palette is a "spring".
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning just to tick off the neighbors. If I had a bell, I'd ask you to ring it. If I had a song, I'd probably forget most of the words and so would sing gibberish over those parts as loud as humanly possible. If I had a hammer, a bell AND a song, I'd get kicked out of my apartment for sure.
Random thoughts from 2009:
I'm having a bad ass day. Not the good kind of bad ass day...like WOOHOO, this is one badass day!...No...more like the Damn, my ass looks bad today kind of day. It must be the jeans. Yeah, that's it.
I sorta wish that peanut butter came in a toothpaste type tube.
Do spiders ever trip and fall down?
Nothing compares to going on a first date and finding a bloody axe on the passenger seat of the guy's car.
A tornado touched down 1 block away from where I live...I wonder if it was carrying Dorothy's house and if so, was it aiming for me?
Ever since the tornado went through last night there has been a high pitched whining hum outside my bedroom window. A high pitched whining bum hanging around outside my bedroom window I can handle but this electrical noise is driving me crazy.
Today Sally-dog and I have an outing planned. We are going to visit my parent's house, get toenails clipped, eat cookies, run around their back yard and then poop on it. Um...Sally is...not me, mostly.
While Sally-dog and I were walking, we saw a gorgeous rainbow coming out of a huge billowy white cloud bank! It was only half a rainbow. I guess things are tough all over and even rainbows are cutting back.
I ask you: Is it MY fault that Chevy's waiters want to give me a discount on purchases of their Hot Mango Salsa?! I think not.
Mysteral (from the KPN network) says he has a smirk surplus. If anyone wants to adopt a smirk please do so immediately. You will find the more you give a smirk the more you get in return especially when dealing with the general public.
All problems can be solved by a quart of Oberweiss Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream. Guaranteed. Well, except weight gain.
I'm having lunch today at a restaurant called Moxie. I wonder if they serve grits...
I had a nightmare last night concerning wedding cake and atomic wedgies. You do the math.
I am convinced that flamingoes stand on one leg because they hope predators will think they are trees.
If I had a band, I would name it Snide Comment.
If Sally-dog had a band, she would name it Hoping For Cheetohs.
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